yabs

Siguro kung tinupad ko
Ang aking mga pangako
Siguro kung hindi ko
Binuksan ang aking bibig

Siguro kung lahat ng araw
Hanggang kahapon
Pinatunayan kong
Hindi mali itong pag-ibig

Sa dami
Ng masasakit na salita
Sa aking kawalan
At pagkukulang

Iniyak na sa langit
At sa lahat ng pwedeng luhuran
Hindi nais mawala ang sakit
Ngunit nais baguhin ang minsan

Nandito
Sa aking mga salita
Kitang-kita
Ang buhay kong may puwang

Lungkot ang aking Kalbaryo
Kawalan ang aking sakit
Naghahanap ng sagot
Handa kahit kailan

Ang dagok ng pagsisisi
Ay hindi makakalimutan
Sa kakaibang pintig ng puso
Habang buhay na pasan

yabs

I
You
They

All in our own form of turmoil

Arbitrary decisions
At our own discretion
Our own peril

All caught in capricious chaos

Radical changes
That led to these turn of events
This state of reluctant convalescence

All to prove that everything is nothing

Guileful at living sad
But convincingly happy lives
Solely for the needs it quenches

All marked with regrets we deny

Mired into this illusion
Of a reshaped future
That still eerily resembles the past

That is the eye of the storm

Calm and seemingly safe
Surrounded by a pandemonium
Of rough truths and fine lies

Reflecting what we pretend to keep hidden...

yabs

Talked about love
And all about pain
This depression in my soul

Talked about hate
About forgiveness
And things I could not forget

There had always been tears
Brought forth by regret
Always fresh, always untimely

Wrote for the hope of searching
The unending quest for another
These people and feelings I wrote for

Yet still, here I am
Same as ever
Or much surely worse

Met so many, so few have stayed
None quite worthy,
None worth the pain

Resigned to fate
Closed to pursuit
Yielded to waiting

I sit here in wait
For an uncertain time
All for destinyÄ
Until fate gives me mine

Wherever you might be
Whenever you're set to begin
Please come find me
I'll be vigilantly waiting

yabs

Self-induced neurosis
Bound by emotional jealousy
Resentful of other's joy

Always meticulously searching
For that drama within happiness
A ball-and-chain in freedom

Self-indulgent sorrow
Simply covered by denial
Narcissistic in a sense

In proclaimed search
But never in action
Just foul-mouthed hot air

Opportunity presents itself
It chases and haunts
It invites in hope

Sadly ineffective to the mind
A mind convinced of it's inadequacies
Convinced of it's phantom fears

Living in procrastination
Bathing in the memories of tears
Tears that should have stopped then

On a pause that's longer than forever
Frozen stiff by this uber emotionality
No plans or will to be productive

yabs

Open you mouth
Use your voice...

Utter what others
Have only whispered...

Let it be known
Just set me right...

No gossip or rumors
No half lies or truths...

Tell me
What should be known...

Show me
The wrong I've done...

Let the learned
Become my guide...

Instead of infinitely
holding me up to ridicule...

Let your secrets
Become my truths...

Let your heart
Enlighten my mind...

You are my one chance
To set myself right...

Find it in yourself
To give me your truth...

Not just the truth I know
Nor the truth I chose to believe...

Show me the side of the coin
That I have failed to see...

Open my eyes
Beyond the biases I live by...

Show me more
Than what I see in me